The Last of Us: Winter
by Endure.Survive.To-the-end1023
Summary: Impaled by an iron rod, bleeding to death and slowly fading Joel falls from the horse. Ellie is left to get the man from the cold ground to somewhere safe. One-shot on my interpretation on what happens after the scene cuts from Joel on the ground and before she finds David. Desperate to keep her protector alive, she does whatever is necessary (written prior to playing Left Behind)


**Just recently finishing this game I can't begin to explain the impact it's had on my life. The one thing that tears me up though is the months that are unseen, especially after Joel was hurt and Ellie was forced to nurse him back to health. So here's my interpretation of what went on after he fell from the horse.**

 **All the character's belong to Naughty Dog.**

 **Winter**

The snow fell gently on her shoulders marking the beginning of the winter she feared would be her last. It was cold out, she noted tightening her arms around Joel's waist. She could feel the blood caked onto his stiff clothes. And when it wasn't blood coating her arms it was sweat, as the shivering man was sweating clean through his clothes from seemingly every surface of his body. His breaths were short and rare, and even with her ear pressed against the back of his left shoulder like it was she could barely make them out. And yet, all she could find herself thinking was about how fucking cold it was.

She lifted her head from his too-warm body and looked over her shoulder. The university was out of site, and not a single sound had come from behind them in over an hour. Only the snow falling peacefully from the darkened sky could be seen moving about gently in the wind. "I think we're safe," she said finally. He grunted in what she thought was a response, "Joel?" He grunted again, quietly, as his hands fell from the reigns and his started tipping to the left. "Joel!"

 _Don't you fucking dare._

He fell from the horse with a definitive _thumb_ grunting no more. "Ah – shit!"

Ellie was quick to stop Callus and jumped from him, leaning over the man who had kept her alive for so long. Racing to his head, she tried to push him up from under his shoulders, "Joel -here!" He wouldn't budge. His breathing was inaudible, though his chest moved slowly.

 _Old piece of shit. Don't do this to me._

"Get up, get up, get up," she said over and over heaving on his arm. He was going to do it. He was going to do what everyone else had done. Her mother, Riley, Tess. Hell, even Marlene. Just left her all on her own. _I'm a fucking kid_. She thought to herself _you ain't supposed to leave kids by themselves god dammit._

His eyes opened slightly, unseeing but alive. She shook his shoulders and they slowly gravitated to her face. "You gotta tell me what to do," she pleaded. There was a pause that seemed to last a life time and then his eyes closed again – slowly, like he was fighting to keep them open.

Ellie grunted, shaking his frame so hard that his head hit the ground audibly. "Come on!" The tears bit and and threatened at her eyelids but she fought them off, desperate to get the man at her feet back to the horse. "You've gotta get up! Joel?"

It was useless, he was stiff and heavy and blood was still pouring freely from his side. Ellie sat on the ground beside him and buried her face in her knees, "What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?" She repeated herself, pleading with Joel, with the world with the hunters on their trail.

She was useless. The only reason she was alive was because she had been stupid enough to get bit. Karma was a bitch and it was biting her in the ass at every moment in her forsaken life. The one thing she was afraid of – and sure as hell here it was. Everyone was dead and gone and she was all alone. Left to sit and cry and find death like she was supposed to back in Boston.

"No," Ellie looked up over her knees at the man bleeding on the ground. "Fuck this shit. I'm surviving. And so are you Joel. You don't get to die, not while I'm still here for you to take care of. That was your plan and I'm not letting you fuck it up. Come on!"

With great effort she managed to turn him on his side where she could ravage through his backpack where he kept the strangest mixture of scissors and whiskey she had ever seen. But it was the copious amounts of tape she needed, along with a couple rags and some rubbing alcohol.

His wound was crusting and red, straight through his abdomen, it appeared to not hit anything vital, but a clear hole could be made out. "Lucky son of a bitch." She mumbled placing the alcohol soaked rag to the front of the wound and using the duct tape to secure it. It took nearly twenty minutes but she was able to wrap the tape around his entire body four times, covering both wounds and the rags and successfully holding them in place. He didn't make a single noise throughout the whole ordeal.

Once more the fourteen-year-old set about rifling through the contents of his dangerous bag to uncover something that he had taught her about. A roll of willow bark that he had stripped off of a tree outside of Boston after Tess had died.

" _The hell are you doing?"_

" _It's medicine."_

" _The tree is medicine…"_

" _Yeah fever and pains, cold. Stuff can be a life saver."_

 _She scoffed at him, "What ever you say old man. What are you, some kind of wildling?"  
He had turned on her quickly, pointing his knife at her. "If you're going to survive out here you need to learn a few things. Being resourceful and useful are the first steps. Otherwise you're going to be getting a lot more people killed. Seems to be a talent of yours. And let me tell you this now, it sure as hell ain't gonna be me next."_

The old bark chopped easily under her knife and she was able to put the pieces his mouth along with a cap of water without a problem. "If that was completely pointless, don't go blaming me," she tells him seriously.

 _Alright, now to get him up_. She glanced at Callus, who was eating a patch of snowy grass a few feet away. "There's no way I'm doing that." She said to herself, frowning. "Resourceful and useful," She mumbled glaring at Joel.

An ambulance lay on it's side a few feet up the road and Ellie stood quickly, a plan already formulating in her mind. She had seen the inside of one before, Joel and her had spent a night the old medical vehicle when they hadn't found a house safe enough months back. A long orange board was right where she had hoped it would be.

"I'm being fucking useful, happy?" She grunted as she strapped Joel's head into the foam bracer on the spinal board. When he was completely in place she shook the board with all she had and found that he didn't budge an inch. "This may actually work."

A distinct clicking sound cracked from somewhere in the distance, followed by a gun shot. _It's gonna fucking have to._

Quickly she pulled a length of rope from her pack and secured the board to Callus' saddle, leaving three feet of distance between the horse and the man. She climbed on and slowly urged the animal up the street.

Joel dragged loudly behind them, scrapping against the pavement of the road. "Always telling _me_ to shut up," she grumbled urging the horse to go a little faster. Praying that it wasn't worsening his wound. The dragging noise continued and she could only grit her teeth. With no other options there was nothing to be done.

 _He's gonna be okay_. All Ellie knew was that if that man didn't survive her life was over. Everything she woke up for in a day was meaningless. _When did that happen? When did my life become about this jackass smuggler?_ She had spent her whole life living for others, knowing that there was nothing else in the world but friends and family. She had both in Riley and Marlene. When shit hit the fan and she was forced out into the reality of what had become of the world outside Boston's quarantine zone, she convinced herself that never again would she allow that to happen. The most important thing in her world now was _her_ and her alone. She was the key to humanity. She was the reason that _Joel_ rose every morning; not the other way around. But who could live so selfishly? The mind set never stuck. And over and over she is burned. Tess, Henry, Sam and now Joel.

An hour later she found the lakeside community, both hungry and exhausted she knew it was time to set up shop for the night. They could leave in the morning once Joel was awake. There was no particular reason she had chosen the cabin she did, but once inside she decided it was a lucky pick. Although it had been ransacked and picked clean the structure was secure and there were no signs of spores. She managed to drag the board up the porch stairs and into the living room with minimal sound. But right away she noticed the blood seeping out from under the tape. "Fucking hell Joel. Are you _trying_ to die?"

She knew what had to be done and it made her queasy just thinking about it. She had stitched up wounds before, little ones on herself. But never ones like this.

So with a fire lit in the fireplace, and both their flashlight strapped to her, she shakily picked up the largest needle she was able to find. The skin on his stomach was as thick as leather as she pushed the needle through. Four strands of tooth floss, roped together, followed as she began to sew his gut up. She worked quickly, trying to the keep the minimal contents of her stomach _in her stomach_.

It was when she was half way through the stitches in his back that he started grunting and twitching. "Oh fuck. Joel, don't move I'm helping you here," he responded with a louder grunt, twisting under her grip. She could tell he was half unconscious, half delirious. "I mean it. You've gotta calm the fuck down."

He didn't stop though. Instead he hollered in pain and rolled off of the couch she had managed to get him onto, continuing to thrash in pain on the floor. Ellie stood abruptly and grabbed the bat he had strapped to his bag, "I'm sorry Joel," She brought the wooden tool down on his head and he stopped writhing. The girl made quick work of the rest of the wound and once again covered and taped the man. Then she lay down on the couch and closed her eyes.

She woke to grunting. Joel was sitting with his back against the couch and grinding his teeth loudly. The sun barely shown through the windows. It couldn't have ben earlier than seven or eight in the morning.

"Hey are you okay? Joel?" She jumped down beside him and looked into his eyes.

They were barely open and he shook his head. She noted that he was holding the willow bark, "That should help," She told him, "medicine. You said it was medicine."

He snorted, "Glad you picked up on something."

She smiled slightly, afraid to hope, "What can I do?"

He shook his head, "Prescriptions last forty years."

"What?"

"Prescriptions. They're good for forty years. Used to trade them back in Boston."

"Prescriptions? Like what doctors used to hand out to people for medicine? What are you talking about Joel? I can't exactly walk into a fucking pharmacy."

He snorted again and then groaned loudly, his eyes blinking rapidly. "Not what I meant…" His breathing slowed again and his eyes closed.

"Dammit," she mumbled. "What the fuck was he talking about."

Ellie may not have known much about the medical world but she remembered all too well what infection looked like in a person. And anyone looking at Joel in that moment would assume that he had gotten bit. Back home he would have been shot on the spot.

She picked up his pack again and pulled out the bag of pills he had been taking from the houses on their way there. Most of them were off the shelf name brand drugs like _Tylenol_ and _Advil_. Things she didn't understand him storing at all, she knew for a fact that these had little effect. Twenty years old, they were more likely to kill you than do any good. But the transparent orange bottles were different. These were contraband back in Boston. Mostly found on the black market. Only to be handed out and carried by medical professional. They were the medicines that actually still worked all these years later. "Prescriptions last forty years," She thought quickly looking over the bottles. The names were long and scientific and she had no idea what anything meant, except one. _Amoxicillin._ It's what Marlene had given her after she had been bit.

There were only four pills left. She sighed but forced one down his throat anyways. Then she lay back down beside him, her head resting next to his hand, and she fell back asleep.

He woke up several hours after her, if you could call it that. He was in a state that she couldn't describe – not even to him a month later when they were escaping the town. He was mumbling nonsense. Asking for Tess, and Tommy and even looking right into Ellie's eyes and calling her Sarah.

It was when the gun shots sounded in the distance that she was finally able to convince the confused man to come into the basement. She lay the only mattress left in the house down for him and a blanket she scrounged from the neighbouring house, and continued to rouse him back to life for food every couple of hours. When she opened the garage door to bring Callus inside the weather had gotten worse, and a bitter cold wind bit at her face. She knew they wouldn't last long in the house. "What am I going to do," she mumbled bitterly.

She did what he told her. She was resourceful and useful. She gave him one antibiotic every three days and fed him boiled water with fresh willow bark she found while hunting. Rabbits and squirrels were her daily meal, and every night she cooked a little for Joel. Most nights she would end up eating his portion herself, but he would wake every few days, incoherently muttering with dead eyes. On these days she forced him to eat what he could, and then he would drift back off to sleep. She doubted he even knew her name in times like those. After a week and a half she had given up all hope that he would ever properly wake again. If the growing cold didn't get to him, it would be the bloating wound she was sure was festering under the flea ridden jacket she had pulled onto him.

On their fifteenth day in the house, Joel coughed loudly, rousing Ellie from her book. "Ow," he grunted hoarsely and she clambered over to him, her flashlight hit his face and he groaned, pulling his arms over his eyes.

"Hey don't talk. You're okay," She said like she always did, pulling the plate of rabbit that she had been about to eat herself towards him. "Here eat some of this before you close your eyes again. It's been a few days since you last ate."

He squinted at the girl through the bright beam of light, "Ellie?"

She gasped quietly, unhooking her light from her jacket and angling it so he could see her properly. For the first time since he had been injured he was truly awake.

"Yeah Joel, I'm here. Don't try to move."

He did anyways, "Fuck!"

"I told you not to move. Stop! Joel just lie back down would yah?"

He ignored her and sat up completely. "I smell like piss," He noted, finally settled into a comfortable sitting position.

She frowned, "Yeah well didn't exactly have a catheter handy. I've been keeping your stomach clean but no offence, your pants needed to be changed two weeks ago and _no thank you_."

He shook his head and looked at her, "The hell you going on about?"

"Here I have some sorta clean clothes for you. I was trying to get brave enough to change you, but I don't know… as long as I could endure the smell I was avoiding it. Put them on while you're awake enough."

He took the outfit from her, "What do you mean two weeks ago?" He croaked as she wandered up the steps.

"You've been unconscious for two weeks Joel. I've been doing my best, but you're not looking so hot these days. You've been sleeping longer and longer between waking up, I mean if that's what you wanna call it…" For nearly ten minutes she sat there rambling on to him, listening to him curse and struggle before finally growing silent. "…I shoulda found you an adult diaper or something so I could fucking breathe down here …. Joel?" There was no response, "I'm coming down. Please god don't scar my innocent mind."

He was lying back on the bed, his new pants on but his shirt hanging off of one arm. His chest heaved rapidly as his eyes caught hers. He shivered violently. Blood seeped from his gut slowly.

"God dammit. Now you've done it. I spent a long time on those stiches man. Be more careful," he allowed her to pull his other arm through the shirt and then the jacket on over top. She pulled the blanket up too and he shook his head.

"You take this it's cold."

"Don't you fucking start Joel. Don't you dare try and do a damned thing to help me out right now. I'm busy trying to keep you _alive_. You wanna help? Help with _that_."

He stared at her for a long minute before pulling the blanket to cover his shaky body. "Two weeks huh?"

"Yeah, now eat before you pass out again," she pushed the helping of rabbit to him and took his soiled clothes up stairs, promptly throwing them out the back door.

She came back down with a twenty-year-old can of refried beans that had been in his bag and handed them to him with a spoon.

He looked at her in disgust and she just thrust it in his face, "Eat."

He ate slowly and silently, glancing up at her every few minutes. His chattering teeth didn't cease through the entire meal. She said nothing, only sat with her arms wrapped around her knees and her chin resting.

"You should of just left me back there you know," he finally said, his voice already weaker than it had been less than an hour ago. He wiped the pooling sweat from his face with a rag, setting the can on the floor.

"Shut the fuck up Joel," Ellie snapped, though not angrily. She knew it was his way of thanking her. His fucked up way.

He grinned at her and they stared at each other for a long moment. His grin slowly fell and she knew what ever was about to come out of his mouth would break her heart. "Look, if I don't make it, turn around. Go back to Tommy's - you remember the way right? He'll get you to Salt Lake. Don't try and make it on your own, alright?"

"Joel, the only one taking me to Salt Lake is _you_. Now if you ain't gonna say something nice, go the fuck back to sleep."

"Since when do I say nice things?" He grunted at her pulling the blanket back up over his arms.

She snorted, "You done with those beans?"

He nodded and handed them to her. She finished off the can silently as he watched her sleepily. She knew his mind was running a mile a minute, she could see it on his face. The usual mask that he wore at all times had fallen with his strength. "Joel, what's going through the brick head of yours?"

He caught her eyes, "It hurts," his voice was nearly lost to the trembling now.

She frowned, "I know. What can I do?"

He shook his head, "Nothing. I just… I think… I mean…" He sighed, unable to finish his sentence. He didn't have to though.

"You don't think tonight's a big turn around in your health do you?"

"It fucking burns right through my entire body. It's like my blood is on fire." was his only response. She could see that this was very true as his ragged breaths came in short gulps.

"I'm not stupid Joel. I know this ain't a miracle. I know you're not suddenly all better. You're still burning up and your whiter than the moon. But it's a start. Now go back to sleep, I'll be here when you wake up."

"You'll be here," he repeated.

"Yeah Joel. I promise. I ain't going no where."

He said nothing, and for a long time his breathing was normal. Then it was deep and low and she knew he had fallen back into his comatose-like state. She sighed and checked his wound again, knowing he wouldn't have let her while he was awake. The little bit of blood that had seeped out was already dry and crusty along the stitches. She took a cloth and some alcohol and cleaned it again, covering him back up.

Then Ellie pulled her back pack towards her and lay her head down on it. Closing her eyes, she sighed softly. Joel's warm, clammy hand was hanging off the mattress. She inched forwards and took it in her own hands. She placed it gently under her cheek and slowly drifted off to sleep.

 _Fight for me Joel. Don't leave me alone. You're not done your job yet god dammit. Just fight a little harder._


End file.
